It's already 4.22am as I'm typing this.Just got back about an hour ago from the karaoke session at Kbox at Orchard Cineleisure with the boyfriend and his friends.It's my second time meeting 2 of them out of 5 and first time meeting the other 3.Yesterday,baby asked if I wanted to join them after work.It took me a while to decide cos I don't like to sing in front of people I'm not familiar with.Blame it on my self esteem and I believe I have a huge issue with it.However I agreed in the end,hoping it won't turn out that bad.
I know I'm not the type who is able to make friends that easily cos I am usually afraid to make the first move.Besides that,I take quite a while to warm up to strangers.I am a total introvert,couldn't agree more.And back to the situation earlier on,I was struggling with some self confidence issues as I started to become inferior to them as the 2 girls there could sing so much better than me.I felt so sucky.I really wished I could sing decently but my voice kept opposing my wishes.I know we are all out to have fun and all,but I can't help feeling this way.I felt soooooo awkward that at some point in time,I wanted to leave or hide somewhere.I hate this feeling but I just couldn't do anything to make myself feel better.Sometimes I feel like a total failure.I can't even get close to my colleagues even after a month.I still feel so distant to them.Sometimes I still feel that my existence is redundant.During lunch,they don't even talk to me.All they talk about is work.Don't they have other things to talk about besides work?!Gosh I'm feeling really awful now and even though it's so late,I don't even feel sleepy yet.
How am I gonna overcome these problems?I need help.
Be less afraid to be judged and have more confidence in yourself. You are beautiful in your own ways, love you so much my dear. Cheer up don't be upset <3<3!
ReplyDeleteHey babe!Thanks for having confidence in me.I guess sometimes I still have trouble getting out of that shell of mine.I'm feeling okay already.Really appreciate your concern.Thank goodness I have friends like you and I really treasure this tie between us.Love you!
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