First week of school has just passed.The weekend is over too.Gonna start to gear up a little more on my studies,play less and study more.Every thursday will be my most dreaded day of the week cos I have no friends to sit in for lectures with-two modules somemore!I'm not a really social kinda person so I don't think I'll be able to make any new friends for both lectures unless someone comes and talk to me.
School week ended up with a night jog with bf at Pasir Ris Park.Took a different route on friday and it felt good.Took the route along the private estates and it was such an eye opener.I always love looking at houses and always admire those people who live in big houses and all.Compared to me,I guess this whole life I will never be able to afford such big houses.I can only imagine...So yeah,somehow running through the rows of private houses,the process of running seems so much more fulfilling and less mundane.It was such a bore to keep running the same route,looking at the same old trees and whatever is at the park.Managed to clock in a better timing but still not that good.I'm still dilligently keeping up to my workout routine everyday.Hope by the end of this year,I will have a much leaner and stronger body.
The bf has been so busy with school.During the weekdays,we seldom meet cos he ends school so late everyday except for fridays.And friday afternoons are always reserved for project meetings and all.Though we managed to meet for a jog last friday,he had to quickly go home after dinner to continue studying.Everything seems to be a rush.So this weekend,I thought I'd be able to spend more time with him so I suggested studying with him yesterday at the library.But he rejected the idea cos he felt that he would prefer studying at home.Okay I was alright with it cos he said we could meet up at night for supper.I was still feeling so excited and all,even went on to research on places we could go to.In the evening,I bathed and was getting ready and waiting for him to tell me when he's coming over.Then the next moment,I received a call from him and he told me that he couldn't get hold of the car cos his brother was gonna use the car.He said we might have to wait till a bit later since his bro was going for a mahjong session.But who plays mahjong for a while only?Confirm play till midnight or even later right?Still make me harbour that bit of hope that we would be meeting.I was so pissed off.There I was hoping to spend some quality time with him during the weekends and he had to ruin everything.Why can't he make plans ahead of time and book the car first?Making empty promises and then disappoint me in the end.Am I asking too much?
I don't know why but my temper is somehow becoming shorter.Like recently I kept getting annoyed by that boy.Small little things he said or did would get me hopping mad.And more often than not,I don't get angry only but angry and sad at the same time.Cos when I'm angry,after a while I feel bad for getting mad at him,so I get angry with myself and I start crying.But that usually happens at night so I will just cry to sleep.And at night is usually the time when my thoughts start to run wild.I will just think of all sorts of stuff and get myself even more sad.Gosh this cycle just doesn't stop.
Where are the happy days?
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